Tuesday, 17 May 2011

In Defence of a Sycophant

I have come across many types of people in  the forty plus years of my life, but none is more unique or exclusive than the sycophant! He is ever demeaning and self-effacing as you will see. I have seen a few street curs ingratiating themselves before a more healthy and powerful Alsatian or, forbid it, a Rottweiler! And, it is in that street cur that you will see the human equivalent or the Sycophant! 

Sycophancy in itself is an acquired art, and it doesn’t come easily! There are some exclusive institutes which provide degree courses in Sycophancy, but then they are so exclusive that the lesser candidates might not even be allowed within a hundred yards of the exclusive institutes. Ha, I once tried to apply for a course in Sycophancy, but was turned off the gates of the worthy institute after being told that I didn’t fulfil the eligibility criteria required for admission to the course. It was after this rejections that I thought that I would study this unique species called The Sycophant.

My studies of the Sycophants have shown the following traits: The accomplished Sycophant will greet his boss with a very low bow, and if he had a tail, then you would see it wagging furiously! The rolling eyes and the bashful grin are the second trait of the sycophant. The staccato repetition of “yes Sir” and the speed thereof will tell you about the level of accomplishment achieved by the Sycophant! He is ever ready to lay down his life for you, although the moment things become serious, he will be the first to run away!He is like a creeper which requires a stout stem for support. Without your support, the sycophant will wither away! The sycophant seems to mumble the words, “without you, my lord, will I be nothing, for you are my lord, and you are my refuge” in a frenzied tone!

I did write a poem on the character of the sycophant, but then, no one even bothered to read it! I then thought that perhaps I might write about this worthy topic in prose and not verse, so that perhaps, then I would be able to get admission in a reputed institute of sycophancy. I have heard that Sycophancy is one of the highest paying callings in this world. I have heard from reputable sources that Sycophancy is soon to be introduced in schools as a vocational subject. Well good luck to those who are able to do this course, they will be more successful in life than me. I don’t bear the successful sycophants any grudge for being more successful in life than me! Well, I am not jealous in nature, and won’t begrudge the successful Sycophant a word of admiration!

I have often been scolded by my friends and family, and relatives for not being more ingratiating and for not grovelling a little more before my teachers, but then what to do, I haven’t developed this rather elusive art and skill. Well I guess I will have to continue receiving scolding from everyone for being such  hopeless  material for sycophancy. Well I salute all those people who are such accomplished sycophants, and wish them the best in life. As for me, well I guess, I will continue observing accomplished Sycophants and write about them, albeit with awe and a little bit of envy!

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